Globo TV Critic Trashes Trash TV!

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The apex of Brazilian surreality TV: IBOPE ratings for “the husband who put out the eyes and cut off the ears of his wife,” Ratinho (Record), March 5, 1998.

O Globo Online (Brazil) TV critic Patricia Kogut writes disdainfully of “lowbrow” television on networks that compete with her employer.

The sad thing, the Globo TV critic says, is that such programming does not even get good ratings.

Globo’s iconic children’s TV hostess, Xuxa, raised eyebrows this week when asked if the cancellation of her reality wildlife-adventure comeback show was due to its low ratings.

“It is not just my ratings,” she shot back. “Ratings are down across the Globo network,” she told reporters. Just look at the current primetime soap, she said.

Ouch. The quote appeared in the Folha de S. Paulo. Globo flacks denied they resented the remark or had marked Xuxa for (further) career death.

Globo reportedly got Meio&Mensagem magazine to fire a reporter who discovered that Globo ratings have fallen off pretty steeply in the last year. See

On the current primetime soap, see also:

The program is essentially a 21st-century homage to the pornô xanxado genre of slapstick sexxxploitation movie-making. I have seen a lot of trash TV in my day, but this is San Fernando Valley amateur porno trashy. And they want to be able to show it during the dinner hour in Rondônia.

Which is why it is difficult to get a read on this column from the TV critic. Is she denouncing the mote in the eyes of others while ignoring the beam in the all-seeing eye that signs her paycheck? Or is the notion that “trash TV no longer commands ratings” a coded message of muted rebellion from the troops? More likely the former, I would idly bet you.

Programas popularescos: vale tudo. A principal arma de um programa de televisão popularesco é poder usar qualquer arma para obter audiência. São as regras do vale tudo aplicadas à televisão. Neste caso, quem é nocauteado com truques de baixo nível é o telespectador. Márcia Goldschmidt é um exemplo. Ela já deu muitas mostras do que é capaz desde que surgiu na TV.

Populist, lowbrow programming: Anything goes. The principal weapon of a program of this type is the ability to use any weapon to attract an audience. The rules of ultimate fighting applied to television. In this case, the one who gets knocked out is the viewer. Márcia Goldschmidt is an example. She has already given plenty of evidence of what she is capable ever since she first appeared on TV.

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The story Globo did not want an M&M reporter to publish: “Globo suffers. From March to August of this year, the broadcaster suffered an unprecedented falloff in its audience, while Record grew and SBT paid close attention.”

Em seu vespertino na Band, ela recebe convidados que expõem dramas íntimos num ritmo cheio de suspense, imposto por ela. São, portanto, duas narrativas ali. Uma, a da desolação do participante. A outra, é o subtexto da apresentadora, que trabalha para que aquele drama renda bastante e seja contado devagar. A história de Márcia é outra, claro, bem mais esperta e sem envolvimento emocional. Mas “Márcia” pode ser ainda pior, acredite. Ela exibe dramatizações.

In her early evening program on Band, she hosts guests who expose personal dramas, in a rhythm full of suspense, imposed by her. There are two basic narratives here. One, the desolation of the guest. The other, the subtext provided by the host, who works to make the drama payoff, to make sure it is recounted slowly. Márcia’s is another story, obviously, much cleverer and without emotional involvement.

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Globo promotional spot, 1973: “News, love, emotion, joy: Everything good is on Globo.” Globo always was, and remains, 75% redundantly sensationalist and emotionalist infotainment lite.

Emotional involvement is the watchword of the Globo network.

See this recent sample of its news reporting:

But Márcia could be even worse. She shows dramatizations.

Globo’s Linha Direta is almost exclusively a program of dramatic recreations of real — allegdly — events. (Some of those “true-life” ghost stories I have my doubts about.)

On dramatizations of fictional events presented as actual real-life events, see also

Elas são amadorísticas, não convencem e até a locução, feita com uma voz de gralha, é ridícula. Veja um exemplo: dia desses, o programa se dedicou ao “pesadelo de Raquel”. Tudo narrado em primeira pessoa. As imagens são em sépia, para, para… sei lá para quê. Para que será? Raquel, a dona da voz infantilóide, é infantilóide de verdade a julgar por sua história. Ela tinha um sonho:

These are amateurish, unconvicing, and the voiceover, done in a screeching voice, is ridiculous. Here is an example: The show recently dedicated an episode to “Raquel’s nightmare.” All narrated in the first person. The images are shot in sepia tones, in order to, in order … I really don’t know why. Why are they? Raquel, who has a childish voice, is childish herself, to judge from her story. She has a dream:

“Fazer meu book por acreditar no meu potencial”. A determinação da pobre moça a leva ao estúdio de um fotógrafo. “Nei parecia muito profissional”, conta ela. “Fui posando, e ele disse que meu corpo estava muito coberto”. A mocinha então, claro, foi tirando tudo. “Ele se aproximou, fiquei confusa. Fascinada por aquele homem, me entreguei”. A esta altura a narração fica completamente choramingas. É hilário.

“To do my modeling portfolio because I believe in my potential.” The determination of the poor girl take her to a photo studio. …

Mas o pior ainda estava por vir para Raquel, coitadinha. O sujeito sumiu. A atriz aparece na rua vagando que nem uma louca gritando o nome dele. E nada. Pior: ficou grávida. E pior ainda: suas fotos nua foram publicadas na internet. O encerramento tem texto lapidar: “Hoje sou uma moça que a sociedade aponta como aquela que apareceu nua na internet”.

Proceeds to trash the subject of the segment and her story about falling for a modeling scam and winding up naked on the Internet. The target of her invective seems to shift from the quality of the program to the guest herself.

I have no idea what program is being discussed here.

Mas sabem o que é mais incrível? É que esses programas, em geral, também são mestres em baixa audiência.

But you know what is the most incredible thing? These programs, in general, are also the master of bad ratings.

Globo: The best it can say about itself is that, “In the race to the bottom, at least we are not winning.”

But I am not even sure that is true.

I am a big Casseta e Planeta fan, and enjoy A Grande Familia. JK was an interesting historical soap.

Its Globoleleza coverage of Carnaval is mind-bendingly stupid and technically inept, however.

And the “drink lots of beer from our program sponsor and I will show you my tits” element is visibly on the rise.

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